Mental Illness and Maternal Support
by Becca Pascarella, Volunteer Coordinator of TBBN, postpartum doula
I wanna chat about some things that are near and dear to me - mental illness and maternal support. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression but it wasn't until having children that these symptoms became exacerbated and then last year I was diagnosed with ADHD. At that point it all made sense. Not only for myself but also now I had a better understanding of how to parent my own two children. Parenting with mental illness is hard and so is starting and running a business at the same time. However, once I took a deep dive into females with ADHD, parenting with ADHD, and why these symptoms are heightened after children it made my love for the postpartum period even deeper.
I started my journey into birth work as a Postpartum Doula because of a gap in understanding and care. We grew up with the notion of “it takes a village” but where is it? We no longer have that village that our ancestors built, We have Facebook groups and “mommy wars”. The thought of mommy wars is honestly so exhausting, pinning other parents against each other instead of coming together as a community to help each other. Breast is best-fed sets up new families for failure. Fed is necessary, support is best. Support your sisters, your family, and the new parent struggling with her newborn in line at target.
This is why I am here. I found support - on my own. Once you leave the hospital you are given an overwhelming packet and a list of instructions that no 3-day postpartum person can remember. So you log onto Facebook which is filled with everyone's caffeine-fueled opinion and that quickly becomes overwhelming too. I can’t remember how many weeks postpartum I was but I found a Facebook event for a body-feeding group that met locally. I asked my friend who had successfully nursed her daughter to come with me because I was super anxious. This is where I met Robin Booth Watson, an IBCLC who had changed my life in more ways than one. With her support, I was able to successfully body-feed my daughter for nearly 4 years. I became not only a certified postpartum doula but continued on my education to become a full spectrum doula and now I will be studying to become a certified lactation consultant. Because of that support, I was fired up to support other new parents in the rawest time in their lives.
Creating a safe space for new parents in the community has been a goal for a while and I am thankful for Kellie who shared the same ideals and goals as myself. The birth worker community is absolutely magic and I hope to foster the same love and support I have been given over the last few years. As birth workers, we are not only here to help babe transition into the world safely but also to protect the mental health of the family and nurture the birthing person. We provide resources for other practitioners like therapy, chiropractic care, wellness, and lactation support so you don't have to do it all on your own. New families shouldn’t be left to fend for themselves the moment they leave the hospital.
So let’s talk about mental health, let’s talk about the ugly, and let’s bring back the village. If we can support each other we can have a smoother transition into postpartum and hopefully lower the suicide rate among new parents. Suicide deaths are the leading cause of maternal mortality in the US currently. Let’s change that, ask your neighbor how they are doing, check in with the mom that’s posting cute newborn pictures, and further invite them to some kind of support group. You never know who you will meet that can change your life.
Becca Pascarella is the Volunteer Coordinator of Tampa Bay Birth Network. She is a doula, mother, and Florida native. In 2021 she started Postpartum Sister Doula Services which started off as offering only postpartum and infant feeding support. She quickly realized her love for the birth world! Becca holds certification as a Full Spectrum Doula through Birthing Advocacy Training.
She is a co-host of a postpartum mental health group called Tampa Bay Witching Hour.